The Best and Funniest Dad Tweets of the Week - Fatherly
Being a dad has one of two outcomes on your creativity: it either kills it totally or forces every ounce of originality you ever had into pithy observations and guileful comebacks. Some of United States keep these asides to ourselves, others test them out on our partners. But the bravest among U.S.A hit up Twitter.
Twitter is a social group media program that may seem to be primarily made skyward of confusing memes and wild youths, merely in that location are a lot of cool parents on there, too. Or at the least we think we're cool. Dads use Twitter to share the funny, punch-drunk, frustrating, and truthful events that bump in their lives. Some of them are famous. Many of them are Twitter-famous. Some of them are both. Wholly of them are funnier than any of us.
And whether you are a brand new dad or a seasoned veteran in the parenting game, IT always helps to laugh along with these hilarious dudes who are loss finished the same tremendous madness that comes with trying to raise a tiny human being. With that in mind, here a few of the best and funniest dad tweets from this week, including a brutally honest assessment of Wintry the Snowman, when it's okay for parents to eat up their fry's Halloween candy, and the perfectly inappropriate Christmas gift for a 13-year-old boy. Go into it.
Bottoms Ahead
I need ideas on what to get my 13 year old son for Xmas that is not a Switch. Leaning toward bottle of scotch.
— Jim Gaffigan (@JimGaffigan) December 13, 2018
Pain Management
Same tricky thing approximately kids crying is trying to determine if they stone-broke a crayon or got their sleeve stuck in a piece of agricultural equipment.
— Simon Nederland (@simoncholland) December 11, 2018
I'm Loving It
me *sad*
bambino: You know what will puddle you happy?
me: What?
toddler: Taking me to McDonalds— Banter (@iwearaonesie) December 11, 2018
Dead Men Tell Snow Tales
I Don't think the song is nearly dramatic enough when Frosty dies right in front of the children's eyes.
— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) December 10, 2018
Joke's Connected You
[in front daddy jokes were made-up]
Girl: I'm cold.
Pine Tree State: okeh.
— Oops!…I Dad It Once again (@NewDadNotes) Dec 11, 2018
Running Late
3-yr-old: *gets a shirt stuck on her head*
Me: Rent out Maine help you.
3: I Exercise IT MYSELF.
If you're expecting United States of America today, we'll represent about three weeks belatedly.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) December 12, 2018
Up All Night
Me, every morning at 6:30: I need to layover staying up late and enamor up on some sleep.
Me, all night at 9pm: Substantially, the kids are asleep, I might also sit up and love this kid unfreeze time.
— The Historical American Dadass (@R_A_Dadass) Dec 12, 2018
The Truth Shirts
Married woman: Why are you tiring that old shirt?
ME: It's only 3 years past. I have shirts that are ended 20 years yellowed
Wife: Yea, get into't father Pine Tree State started connected those— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) December 12, 2018
List the Lingo
A handy guide for Cyberspace slang the kids are using these days:
IDK – I do karate
LOL – lemons or limes?
OMG – outstandingly magnificent genitals
IMHO – I urinate habanero omelettes
WTF – manic African country ferrets
DIY – Darrell is yucky
YOLO – your old lady's ovulating— Andy H. (@AndyAsAdjective) December 11, 2018
Better Late Than Never
Wife: It's nearly Yuletide. You tooshie believably end the rest of his untouched Halloween confect.
ME: Release the hounds!
— dadpression (@Dadpression) December 12, 2018
https://www.fatherly.com/play/the-best-funniest-dad-tweets-of-the-week-dec-14/
Source: https://www.fatherly.com/play/the-best-funniest-dad-tweets-of-the-week-dec-14/